some thoughts about process

I wanna share few thoughts about paintings and what it does to me, to my mind. I find painting very relaxing-until it all goes straight to hell and the ambitious idea is simply looking like a piece of crab fixed to a piece of paper. And as much as I hate these moments (cos I was working so hard just to make that SHIT???) they are also most liberating moments in the creative process. When nothing can’t go any worse-it can only gets better or stay at the same shitty level. So whatever ;) Today when reaching the point of no return, I have decided to use the painting for further testing of paint, and see what will happen. First of all I have noticed that I have bought a wrong white color -which is pearl blue and it is actually pearl-shinny , which also causes other colors to get violet—ish when mixed with them (aaarrgghhh) However when it dries it gives nice metallic surface and it makes the painting more alive. It is very difficult to capture on photo though. I have noticed that this process gave me more freedom, confidence, training in painting, discovering new way of drawing, and painting. And most important, it gave me a good feeling of being satisfied. So if you sometimes struggle between great idea and disappointing outcome, just relax and enjoy the process :)

anna kukielka